tap tap tap tap tap.

we let loose a string of words
onto that little flashy screen
because we are human——
social animals, the scientists say——
and we like to be noticed
so we tap away at the tiny button keys
not bothering to open a new tab
to google what we just threw out into the open air
(what goes up never will disappear)
we let spellcheck do its job (most times
horrendously—-autocorrect shucks)
never looking back to realize whose
names we just blackened
only to backspace when tomorrow’s post
contradicts with today’s mindless scribbling
we are human, are we not?
yet here in this cyber century
we are not allowed to have contrasting opinions
(because hypocrites shuck too)
and too late do we realize
we let loose a string of words
on that little blank screen
too busy worrying about what people oceans across
think of us (hipsters and free souls and law abiding 
people hoping for a free ticket to their heaven)
to even bother apologizing for bumping
into someone while crossing the street blind

Don’t Love Me

afakepoetsdiary:

Please don’t trust me
When I tell you I love you.
I have fallen in love a lot.
I fell in love with the last
Book that I read
And I fell in love
With the way the sun sets
And I fell in love with the way
You smiled at me
So I told you that I loved you
But please,
Don’t trust me
Because I don’t know
What love is.

off shore.

the wind whipped my hair back
giving me sweet elation like never before
as their shouts of “be careful” faded away
i’ve never been this far out
the water past my waist now
but i’ve never felt this right
the sky was neverending
just like this ocean that teases me
threatening softly to swallow me whole
and i open my eyes to realize
i can’t hear their chattering or their laughter
turned back to inhale sharply 
the sea breeze tugs at my clothes
like mischievous fay in those fantasy books i hold so dear
i’ve wandered too far
and i’ve forgotten how to swim
who will save me now?

the night is young.

late night coffee breaks
when we’d sneak out our windows
through the empty alleyways lit by after-rain streetlamps
our jackets worn but loved well
shoes squeaky from the puddles we’d still jump into
hands warm from familiar espresso aromas

soft jazz piano tones
when we’d spend hours just talking
welcomed without words nor questions about where we’ve been
our notebooks tattered but filled to the brim
eyes wide from all the books we’d covet when everyone else texted
smiles sleepy but so real and there

smooth rippling water
when we’d go skinny dipping 
without anyone noticing where we’d gone or if we’d ever return
our skin blushing furiously but feeling wild
minds open ended to everything the starry sky had to offer
pinkies locked for those silent promises we’d never dare to break

wanna go on another midnight escapade
with me? 

snooze button.

waking up to your sunday morning voice
all scratchy and lazy sounding, like
smoky guitars in late night cafes
and your smooth warm skin
room temperature, familiar faded mocha scent
your arms, they fit around my waist just like
puzzle pieces locked side by side
i was never a morning person, but damn
if i wanted to be woken up at seven 
every single day if it meant
your half-closed eyes smiling at me
like i was your whole world

sometimes i immediately turn away from you 
even though i do not know you
even though i should learn by now not to judge a book by its cover
sometimes i frown at the sight of you
not because i don’t like you
but because somehow you remind me
of me

an old photograph.

and what happened to
sepia coloured days
of listening to old cassette tapes
and singing with old friends
down in the empty meadows
by the firelight in dusk
and it didn’t matter that we got the words wrong or
that we can’t sing for shit
and what happened to the days 
of polaroid cameras
and wasting the day winding string
around our bare naked wrists
counting the stars because we could
and walking in the middle of the road
sticking out a thumb 
to take us somewhere we’ve yet to go
what happened to the simple days
of feeling wind in my hair
as i perched on your bike precariously, daringly
with nothing to lose and everything to gain
your hand in mine that’s all i needed
and that guitar of yours so out of tune
and things were alright?

story of a girl.

she’s a nobody, an average girl
from a nice family with nice manners and piano lessons
clothes that cover up well and blank wrists
internet connection and friend to study with
ankle socks in seven different colours and straight black hair
pizza on the weekends because it’s her favourite
a sister that gets on her nerves but still brings her chocolate
parents that let her stay up late on weekends
and still tell her to look away when driving past an accident
bookshelves full and notebooks to fill

she’s just a girl, another quiet girl
from a small town with dreams of leaving 
to tell stories she can’t contain and hopes of someone 
to call her own and vice versa
listening to undiscovered bands and trying not to watch the news
of rain in the forecast and number of random shootings
scribbling away and pretending not to care
that boys don’t really notice her at all and cool girls
don’t avoid eye contact or wear no makeup and runners

she’s a girl, a confused girl
from late night tumblring with tired eyes and bruised heart
spouting sad quotes as if it’ll make things much more
poetic and tragically beautiful than just plain hurt
scratching words into her boring walls wishing someone 
could tell her what was wrong and why she felt so dark
crying at night and chiding herself of being such a drama queen
four letter words that cross her mind saying she 
is fine and bottled up feelings are better than
drawing attention to herself because she has it better
than most

she’s just a girl, and average girl
from this lonely world with no answers
lost and searching aimlessly desperately
help is so hard to ask for when she’s so sure
she doesn’t need it

i
want
to
stop
wanting
                   you

and what would i do without you?
you kept me here
despite those demons that refuse to fade
and you kissed my invisible scars
that i still deny to this day

and what could i do without you?
except to sit and wait in the setting sun
watching the distant hills that i can’t make out
you’ll come back, like you
always do

it’s fine it’s fine it’s fine it’s fine 
it’s all my fault all my fault all my fault
none of your business because you don’t care you don’t care
i don’t want you to i won’t allow you to care
fuck you and your slamming the doors
and under your breath muttering fuck you
and fuck me too because i can’t tell myself to shut up
not like you can
fuck this
i’m digging the hole again